Single men, don’t waste time pursuing women that’s not for you. We are pursuers by nature yes because that is the way God made us, but if a woman has SEVERAL men pursuing her, don’t allow your ego to make you think pursuing is a competition that you will win! Because when a woman wants to be with you, she will not allow ANY OTHER MAN TO PURSUE HER BUT YOU!
When I met my wife, she was new in the Lord and had already been dating a guy while she was an unbeliever. But after she came to know the Lord, she began to pray about was he the right one for her. She prayed a very basic prayer, “Lord, if he isn’t the one for me, give me a sign to show that he isn’t”. Sure enough God did give her a sign and I will let her share what happened when she is ready to share. But when she met me, after we got to know each other through flaws, mistakes and arguments, she ALLOWED me to pursue her and I pursued her with all that was in me because I wanted her as my wife. But here is the thing, not only did she allow me to pursue her, she accepted ONLY my pursuit. Were there other men who wanted to pursue her? Yes! Did she accept their pursuits? No! I was not the only man to ask to marry her, I was just the ONLY man she EVER said YES TO! As we have said on a previous post, our courtship was certainly not perfect, but there was NO WAY I was going to pursue my wife with other men pursuing her.
One of the definitions of pursue is ‘To follow in an effort to overtake or capture’. In other words, to go after and capture her heart to marry. It’s fine to talk with your sister in the Lord about marriage, but when you are ready to pursue her, make sure she is ready to not only be pursued, but also ready to accept only YOUR pursuit. Yes there are women who play games and take engagement rings from more than one guy at the same time. And yes there are also women who ONLY want you just to keep you from going after another woman who was more interested in you. Oh yes, there are women who play games as well and there are men that play the game with them because sometimes men are thinking with their flesh instead of with their SPIRIT! (Gal 5:16). This is why we ALWAYS say, “Seek God, Check their Fruit, Read Between The Lines and Be Led By The Spirit”. But men, there is no reason to fall for the games, because with the Holy Spirit leading you, you will “Know What Time It Is”. So let’s break it down!
Seek God: Always pray and ask God about the woman you are interested in!
Check Fruit: Is she a believer? Does she possess the fruit of the Spirit? (Gal 5:22-23). How is she around other men? Is she “THE” Suitable HelpMeet for YOU? Can you live with her flaws?
Read Between The Lines: What is she REALLY saying? Does her words match her ACTIONS? Does she mean what she says?
Be Led By The Spirit: You are a believer, so what is the Spirit saying to you about her? Do you get a good feeling about marrying her or not? If you have doubts, why?
So men, know when it is time to pursue and when it it time NOT to pursue. If she is not turning down other pursuits, then it is probably a game to her, which means she will be wasting her and your time along with other men’s time. Don’t be the 3rd guy asking the SAME woman for her hand in marriage at the SAME TIME, ONLY ask the one where the feelings are MUTUAL and she only wants YOU! Marriage to a woman is not a game, it’s a COVENANT! So be very wise with who you enter into covenant with because covenants are meant to be for life! #KnowWhatTimeItIs
Eccl 3:6, “a time to start looking and a time to stop looking, a time to keep and a time to throw away…”
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