“Marriage or Nah”? ~ OEV

 

evernote-pav-pray-with-vforce-babies-pic
I know, I know…I was supposed to be praying too but I just had to capture the moment.  To open my eyes, grab my phone and snap a pic of my husband praying with our children before bed is one of those moments that lets me know we got it right.  Yeah…we did.
What did we get right?  We did something different to meet someone different.  We put our cards on the table from jump.  No surprises, no second guessing.  From the moment we first talked we made it clear that it was “Marriage or Nah”.  We got to know each other with no strings attached for a year even tho PAV was tryna marry me within the first months of meeting lol (You gotta know the whole story tho).  There was no kissing, no making out, no nothing during that “getting to know stage”.  Straight acquaintances with a mission of “friends who could possibly marry” was the deal.  That way if we weren’t feeling each other, we could move along without any emotional or sexual ties.
We became exclusive after that first year.  When he would take me to his church he made it known I was that chick.  You know, ‘His Lady’.  And my goodness did I love the way he would introduce me to “the church”.  The church who would judge me prematurely and sometimes un-righteously because I wasn’t raised in the church like him, wasn’t C.O.G.I.C. like him and definitely wasn’t “saved like him”.  But I was on his arm because he chose me. And what many didn’t realize was that I received his choice and chose him in return. It wasn’t one sided.  It was very mutual.  I had to win his parents over being that I was not the church girl type but winning them over was worth the man.
2 years later after many “dating trials”, he made it official and gave me the ring…proposing to me while we were watching the airplanes land and take off.  We had some trials while engaged but I was here for it, so we married 2 years later.  Can’t believe I was really tryna divorce him 5 years after.  But here we are…married still.  12 years in the deal.  Husband and wife for real for real.  With five beautiful babies we pray for, who we slay for and are steadily paving the way for.
So to be at a point where I watch this man I said Yes to pray with all of our children is a moment I had to capture. Not for my sake or yours but more so for my children’s sake. So that when they’re older they’ll always have this moment in print. Tho our 2 and 4 year old may not remember this, they’ll be able to see this pic and have this moment for life and see that…their parents really did do something right. We found one another, observed each other. Sealed the deal with each other. Then brought each of our children into this world and declared we would raise them up in the admonition of The Most High and teach them His ways. And it didn’t start that night. It started in July 1999, became serious in August 2000, made official in July 2002 and finalized in May 2004. Then we started our legacy in 2006, continued it in 2008, added to it in 2010, filled it more in 2012 and built it higher in 2014. Whoooo! We got a lot to do right? So what’s my point in all this right? What is OEV getting at?
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My point is to get to this moment…to get this right…to be here in all of this right now today, we had to declare from the beginning that it was “Marriage or Nah”.And this is also what we’re showing our children. I mean, who has that kinda time to be wasting on “Nah” when time is pointing to Marriage? Who has that kinda heart to keep putting up with “Nah” when the heart is desiring Marriage? I mean really tho…who has that kinda strength to continually be weakened on “Nah” when it wants to be stronger in Marriage? I didn’t. And neither do you.

You’re single and you desire marriage..then it’s time to get a “Marriage or Nah” mentality about your life right now. This doesn’t mean nothing else matters, it simply means that the foolishness that comes with “Nah” is over and no longer needs your energy. I gave lots of details above to share our history together. Sure we had some ups and downs along the way, but we were still throwing up “Marriage or Nah” through it all.

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You no longer have time to waste, you no longer have a heart to be broken by people playing games and you no longer have the strength to put towards “Nah”. Instead set some #MarriageGoals and then spend some time working towards those goals. It’s OK to want it, think of it, prepare for it and desire it. It’s honorable remember? So to desire something honorable is actually a very beautiful thing. But you gotta let go of the “Nah” because it’s possibly holding you up from what you truly desire..Marriage.

And last thing, if you’re Married, work to stay together. Remember divorce is nothing more than a “Nah” but in a different context. Not saying all marriages will work out, but at the very least give it your all and work to stay together as best as YOU can so that no matter what happens, you know you was all about that Marriage life! ? ~ OEV

Did I say something that blessed you?  Confused you?  Hit a nerve or inspired you!  Leave a comment and let me know.  I assure you of a timely response.  Love you Fam .  ?
PS  Hey Ladies…wanna join me in my private Facebook group for Queens only?  Click here and join me NOW.  See you there.

 

The Building of a Nation Starts with YOU!

“Men, I believe if we teach our sons how to be providers as they become men, how to treat women, how to be in control of their sexuality, how to value their purity as young boys, how to be leaders in their homes and communities, how to operate in their God given masculinity, while also teaching our sons to honor marriage, we will help greatly in decreasing the many fatherless, broken and dysfunctional homes we have in this world today, especially in our own communities”. ~ PAV

“Women, I believe if we teach our daughters to know their worth, to value their sexuality and their bodies, to empower them in their educational creativity, to help them understand that being a help meet is a strong active role in society as a whole, not a weak, inactive one only done in marriage, how to honor marriage while also teaching our daughters to support masculinity while operating fully in their God given femininity, we will help greatly in decreasing the epidemic of leaving legacies of broken relationships, out of wedlock births and extreme poverty”. ~ OEV

“Men and Women, we believe in being Faithful to Marriage, Faithful to Family and Faithful to Legacy (Building). In order to have healthy marriages, strong and loving families and positive legacies tomorrow, it starts with building our marriage, our family and our legacy TODAY”!

We’re already doing this and are working to do it even better. Have you started? Are you doing your part?  What steps are you taking to get this done?  Comment and let us know! ~ PAV &OEV

 

Psalm 112:1-3, “Praise the Lord!  Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments!  His offspring will be mighty in the land, the generation of the upright will be blessed.  Wealth and riches are in His house and His righteousness endures forever”.

Psalm 78:4, “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might, and the wonders that He has done”.

Deut 6:5-7, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”.

 

 

Wanna join OEV’s Online Kingdom Building Community for Women?  Sign up here.

 

Wanna join PAV’s Online Kingdom Building Community for Men?  Sign up here.

“I’m Still Qualified”! ~ OEV

I'm the most imperfect person you're going to find in this world. But I'm still qualified to speak the truth of The Most High. I'm the most flawed person this side of heaven. But I'm still qualified to share the truth of Yahshua. I miss the mark. I can be emotional. I am wrong a lot of times. I can be your best friend or your worst friend when I'm not in control of my feelings. But I'm still qualified to lead those The Most High have put in front of me to lead. I can miss it as a wife at times. I can miss it as a Mother at times too. But I'm still qualified to be a help to many wives and many mothers. I can be disingenuous but still honest. I can be insolent at times but still polite overall. I can be aggressive at times but diffident as well. I am an extrovert but have times where I'm an ambivert. I can be loud when addressing others but quiet as well. I can be strong in my expressions but gentle in my delivery. At any given time I can mess up every single thing I've worked very hard to overcome, but even in all of that, I am still qualified to do what The Most High has called me to do.

People will disqualify you for every mishap, every bad decision you make, every mistake you can't seem to shake and every sinful step you may take. But in the end, it is not man who qualifies you but The Most High. And who He calls, He qualifies. Who He qualifies, He prepares. Who He prepares, He also forgives when they repent. And who He forgives, He gives them another chance. Many of you just want another chance to get it right today. Many of you feel you have dropped the ball so much that you are no longer qualified to do what He's called you to do. Many of you feel the need to be sat down, refused, denied, put aside, left hangin, even punished all because you have been on a roll with messing up. But I am here to tell you that I know what it's like to be in a funk to where all it seems like you're doing is messing up left and right. I know what it's like to question yourself asking, "Damn!  Can I do anything right? Can I just do one thing right to get me out of this mess? Can I just get out of this rut and thrive instead of just survive? Can I get out of my feelings instead of be all up in them all the time? Will I ever get my finances together?  Will I ever just make it in this area instead of always struggling in this area?" My Goodness!!!  I know, I know, I've felt this way many times. But I got news for you.

​You are not disqualified because you missed it this morning or last night with your wife or husband. You are not disqualified because you lost your cool with the people on your job or with your children. You are not disqualified because you had wicked thoughts about someone who hurt you and did you wrong. You are not disqualified because you tried to end your life when depression got the best of you. You are not disqualified because you made a fool of yourself in front of those you love. You are not disqualified because you fell into sin after giving in to horniness. You are not disqualified because you lied when human resources asked had you ever been late on a job and you said no just to get the job. You are not disqualified because you've been missing paying tithes to pay your bills and take care of your children. You are not disqualified because you have been falling short in so many areas of life where others are succeeding. You are not disqualified because you feel you should be much further along than you are right now. You are not disqualified because your marriage is a mess. You are not disqualified because you're in your 30's and 40's and still not married. You are not disqualified because you're broke right now.  You are not disqualified...Why not? Because you are still HIS! If you are still His and you are still up in this piece working to get the best out of this life, then you are still qualified. If you still have breath...if you still have life...if you still have space and opportunity...if you still have your right mind...if you still have the willingness to get better...if you're still fighting to make it, then no my friend, you are not disqualified. Know this...No man on earth can disqualify you. If The Most High says you're qualified, then YOU ARE STILL QUALIFIED!

​So get up, repent if you need to, pray because it's what you should do, reach out if you have to. Then wash your face, drink some water, look in that mirror and say "I'm Still Qualified", then be on your way and go do what you are still qualified to do! ~ OEV

#ImStillQualified

#YouStillQualifiedToo

#TheyCantDisqualifyWhatHeAlreadyQualified

#ByeFaultFinders

Rom 8:30, "And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified".

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I'm Still Qualified

“No More Lazy Sex”! ~ PAV

 

 

 

No More Lazy Sex PAV

 

For the Husbands and Single Bruhs!

Sorry, but you canNOT bring your “hay-day way” of having sex into your marriage and think your wife will be pleased! That’s just like calling every woman from your past and saying “Hey! Come join my wife and I..!” Your intimacy with your wife will be MESSED UP.

You have to delete what you learned in the world and REBOOT your learning of sex with your wife because those other women were NOT your wife so you can’t bring those past “styles” into your present marriage. This is one of the many ways of doing marriage God’s way when it comes to pleasing your wife. And if you think for one minute that you’re gonna “get yours” and roll over and go to sleep afterwards thinking that’s it, brotha you need to renew your mind in a hurry! Because sex is not over until you BOTH get yours..!

Renew your mind about the “Gift of Sex” and learn that sex is selfless but fornication is selfish. Fornication focuses on YOU. Sex (in marriage) focuses on your WIFE! The word says in 1 Cor 7:3a that, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs…” Do you see? That means in sex it’s not about you, it’s about your wife. You are to make sure that her need is fulfilled. Too many times in marriage only the husbands are getting fulfilled sexually and the wives are left deprived. And wives can be feeling deprived whether the couple is having sex or not. In other words, in some marriages, the wife is deprived because she’s not getting enough sex from her husband. She’s “sex starved”. But in other marriages, the couple is having sex but only the husband is fulfilled. She’s sexually unfulfilled. And many times we husbands are doing this because of the bad habits we picked up in the world when we were fornicating. Now that we’re married, the sexual baggage and residue of fornication is now hindering our sex life with our wives. How so?

Because in fornication, we were about getting ours. And if a man does this enough times, it can become a habit that anytime sex takes place, whether illicit sex or legal sex, the man gets his and doesn’t make sure the woman is totally pleased. Time to renew your mind on sex men, whether single or married. Single men it would do you good to renew your mind now before you marry so that there is less chance of you bringing the residue of sexual sin into your marriage and hindering your sex life with your wife. Husbands, it would do you good to renew your mind now, talk to wife and ask her is she truly being fulfilled sexually. If she says no, then its time to ask her why, ask her what can you do to make things right and TAKE ACTION!

It can be done men. Trust, as I’ve had to do the same thing! I found out that sex is about giving and pleasing my wife, so I had to stop being lazy when it came to making sure my wife was pleased and do the work! Remember, we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us, yes even in making sure we have NO MORE LAZY SEX! Let’s Get It Men!  We got wives to please!  😉

‪#‎YourWifeIsNotThoseOtherWomen‬

‪#‎ItsNotJustAboutYouAnymore‬

‪#‎YouCantTreatYourWifeLikeShesABootyCall‬

#NoMoreLazySex

“He Who Finds…” ~ PAV

PAV POSTS PIC

To My Single Brothas..!

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from The Lord”.

Remember when you found those lost keys, that online info you needed, that coveted copy of Black Ops 3 at Best Buy, etc..? Well all that has something very important in common. Here’s my point…

Those things weren’t just sent to you, you had to FIND them. Well the same applies to having a wife: You must FIND her. God is not going to fax, UPS, FEDEX, or email her to you. The ONLY time The Most High ever brought a woman to a man was in the garden of Eden after Adam awoke from the sleep he was put in.
So go FIND her.

And don’t just find her to share a bed with her, use her up, then leave her. Find her to share a LIFE with her, and build a LEGACY with her. Because legacy isn’t built from fornication. ~ PAV

‪#‎HeWhoFINDS‬

‪#‎DontGiveUp‬

‪#‎ShesOutThereYouJustHaveToLook‬

‪#‎IfYouCanFindEveryThingElseYouCanFindHer‬

Share this with as MANY as you can!

“Men, Don’t Harness Her Gift”! ~ PAV

TRULY FAITHFUL lOVE IS PIC TWITTERMen, when you meet a woman operating in her purpose who you want to marry, remember not to harness her gift after marrying her. Women have purpose just like we do. And just because women will be help meets in Marriage God’s Way, doesn’t mean they can no longer fulfill their purpose when they marry or that their purpose is only to be your help meet. Let me explain.

When I met my wife, she was already operating in her purpose, bringing the word of God at her fellowship and to women. Even though I pursued her to be my wife and help meet, I understood that The Most High had a call on her life as well. She helped me in the ministry I had then and still have today, she works alongside me in this ministry we have together (Truly Faithful) and I support her in her ministry/purpose. I don’t harness her gift just because I need her to help me in ministry. She loves doing her role as help meet but she also loves doing what The Most High has called her to do alongside that.

This is just a reminder to men who will marry and even the men who are already married. While married, let our women help us in our ministries/purpose, while supporting their ministries/purposes as well. Remember, we are ONE in Christ and are BOTH heirs with Christ. Just a reminder! Be Encouraged Everyone!

“Marriage Does Not Cure Sexual Sin”! ~ OEV

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“Marriage is not a cure for sexual sin! It is best to first repent of all sexual immorality before you enter into marriage so that you do not dishonor what God has called Honorable”! ~ OEV

Heb 13:4, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”.

One reason why there is so much divorce is because many people do not honor marriage. For if they did, they would not enter into something honorable with dishonorable baggage. Meaning they would not enter into marriage thinking marriage is the cure for being a whoremonger. Because if you have been fornicating and you have not repented of being a fornicator (whoremonger) before marriage, most often times you will become an adulterer after marriage. And remember adultery is not only physically cheating on your husband or wife but it also includes lusting after someone you are not married to (Matt 5:28).

Look at how many marriages among confessed believers are suffering from adultery which includes watching porn, lusting after those who they are not married to and all types of sexually immoral things. If many would trace back to their single lives, they would find unrepentant sexual sin even among those who’ve never had sex with anyone other than their spouse. Meaning there are many Christians who entered into marriage as virgins (never having actual intercourse) but they committed other sexually immoral acts that they never repented of. They just figured if they married, then all would be well. But they came to find out that in their marriages, there were issues of a sexual nature and most times it’s because they never dealt with the sexual sin they indulged in while they were single.

Take masturbating to porn for an example. Many believing singles did these things before marriage. So when they married, they thought they would never commit these acts again since they were now having sex with their spouse; yet they still find themselves masturbating to porn when their spouses are not around. You have to remember that what you do before marriage, you will do after marriage unless you repent. So if you were involved with masturbation and porn before you marry, you’ll be involved with it after you marry unless you repent of it.

Our point is marriage does not cure sexual sin. It was never created to cure or deliver you from sexual sin or any sin for that matter. Christ, not marriage, is the only one who can deliver or cure you from sexual sin but you must repent! And it is better to repent from sexual sin BEFORE you marry than to risk dishonoring your marriage by bringing unrepentant sexual sin into what is honorable.

We have shared this story many times before on our page and we will share some of it again for this post. Before I married, I repented of sexual sin with my husband but I had not repented of lust. So lust lied dormant in me the closer I got to marriage. But it wasn’t even a year into our marriage when lust rose from its dormancy and became fully functional into my life. It started with allowing a man to flirt with me. It continued into having impure thoughts about him. It then manifested itself more when I was going to meet him alone one day knowing what would happen.

To this very day, I am grateful to God that instead of going through with my demonic plans, I confessed to my husband. I am grateful to my husband that even though he was hurt, he prayed for me instead of putting me away. I am grateful to God for His Holy Spirit convicting me to come clean before acting out in the physical. In the end I was delivered completely from lust and it has never reared its ugly head in my marriage since because it’s been repented of, but look how it almost or could have ruined my marriage. Look how I hurt my husband. Look how I dishonored my marriage, my husband and more importantly my God with the look of the eye adultery. But God delivered me when I FINALLY repented!

So singles, please do not go into marriage thinking it will cure your sexual sin as I am a living witness it will not. Go to God and repent so that when you marry, you will not have to put your spouse, our God and even your marriage through the hardship you can avoid by repenting of any sexual sin NOW. I would even recommend that you be totally delivered from ALL sexual sin BEFORE you marry as this is one way to honor marriage while you are still single.

And for those who are married but still indulging in sexual sin, it’s time to go boldly before the throne of Grace, confess, repent and ask God to deliver you now. Don’t keep dishonoring what God has called honorable. Those of us who are married are to honor our marriages with true fidelity. And that means being Truly Faithful to our spouses with our bodies and our thoughts. And that we do not do anything that would dishonor our God, our spouse or our marriage.

I pray this helps those struggling with sexual sin whether single or married, for it’s time to repent and honor what God says is honorable!#RepentAndBeDelivered #HonorMarriage

This may be a hard message to take because MANY may have this issue, but share it anyway as it may be just what’s needed to help someone who’s been struggling with sexual sin! Thanks Fam!

“Marriage Is To Be Honored By ALL”! ~ PAV

Everyone is to respect (honor) marriage including the husband and wife in the marriage. The reason why others may not respect marriage is because some of us who are married may not respect our own marriage and we show our dishonor of it.

For example, if a husband or wife is cheating, then neither do they nor the person they are cheating with honors marriage. In other words, if a wife cheats on her husband with another man, neither the cheating wife or the other man respects or honors the marriage the wife is in nor do they respect or honor marriage in itself.

When singles fornicate with each other, they also do not honor marriage, for if they did, they would either marry or not fornicate. Many seem to think this scripture is just for those who are married and are doing marriage God’s way. No, this scripture was written for ALL! And it means you honor the marriages of others, you honor the marriage you are in or you honor marriage in itself that you either marry or remain a virgin outside of marriage.

God is the creator of marriage and if He says to honor it, then we are to obey and honor it. Whether we are married or not, we are not to dishonor what God created by fornicating or committing adultery. And that is why the scripture says in Heb 13:4 (NASB), “Marriage is to be held in honor AMONG ALL, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge”.

When you honor marriage, what you are really doing is honoring what God has created and you’re also honoring the creator of marriage as well! #MarriageIsHonorable

Please share this with as MANY as you can! Be blessed everyone!

Biblical Roles of Marriage Part III: “The Role of A Godly Husband.” #2 ~ PAV

Merry Christmas!

1 Peter 3:7 (NASB), “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and SHOW HER HONOR as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered”.

In 1 Peter 3:7, the word HONOR really stands out when referenced as how husbands are to be with their wives. The word ‘honor’ means ‘high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: such respect manifested: high public esteem’. It’s important that husbands understand this because a husband who HONORS his wife will NEVER cheat on her. A husband who HONORS his wife will ALWAYS provide for her as best as he can. A husband who HONORS his wife will not abuse her. Why? Because a husband who HONORS his wife respects his wife HIGHLY as the gift from God that she is!

When I was a newlywed, I was at work one day thinking about the argument my wife and I had earlier that morning. While I was working the Lord began to speak to me about the way I saw my wife. All of a suddenly, I saw a picture of a vase. The vase looked so delicate and very expensive. The Lord then asked me how much did I think the vase was worth. Without hesitating I said out-loud to the Lord, “PRICELESS”. Then the Lord told me that the vase represented MY WIFE! Everything hit me SO HARD as I realized I had not been treating my wife like the delicacy that she is. Her worth is FAR ABOVE RUBIES (Prov 31:10). Not just to me but TO GOD! God is SERIOUS about the way His sons treat His daughters! Yes my wife and I share in the “grace of life” and yes we BOTH serve God individually as well as together but God has called me as her husband to HONOR HER! And I am to honor her above ALL OTHERS ON THIS EARTH as she is the ONE I am in covenant with.

To this day I have definitely missed the mark many times with treating my wife with the honor I am supposed to. And the interesting thing is whether my wife submits to me or not, reverences me or not or obeys me or not, I am STILL to HONOR her in our marriage as MY WIFE!

In my HONEST opinion, this is where so many believing husbands miss it and miss it often. We think that we are to be honored by our wives yet we forget God has called us to also honor our wives. Not only that, we are to dwell with our wives in an understanding way. Col 3:19 tells us husbands AGAIN to love our wives but also not to be harsh with them. God has a way he wants us to be with our wives DAILY! I have failed at this many times but as I grow, I am reminded of the delicate vase God showed me as a newlywed.

If you noticed in yesterday’s write-up as well as this one, I don’t mention much about the husband providing. Why is that? Because men hear this ALL OF THE TIME just like women hear about submission all of the time. Most men KNOW they are to provide for their wives and children. The problem is, we husbands can get so caught up in providing that we forget to do ALL the other things God has called us to do as husbands. And this is why our prayers can be hindered as stated in 1 Peter 3:7 if we are not doing our roles as we should.

Husbands if we honor our wives, if we treat and walk with our wives in an understanding way, if we remain TRULY FAITHFUL to our wives, lead and guide our wives in God’s truth as we should as well as provide for them etc, then we are loving our wives as Christ loves the church. Many husbands, I’m sure, do things differently than I do and that is why the way I run my household may not look like the household of another Godly husband but as long as we do our role, it doesn’t matter if husbands’ households look exactly the same. What matters is that we are fulfilling the commandments God has given us as husbands to do.

The way I treat my wife may be different than the way you treat your wife but as long as we are HONORING our wives then we are in obedience to the word of God. The way I provide for my wife and children may be different than the way another husband provides for his wife and children but as long as we husbands are providing for the needs of our wives and and children then we are in obedience to what the word of God commands us to do as husbands. Do you all see what I mean?

The biblical role of the husband is to be done regardless of the wife doing her role in the marriage. This is why we are commanded to give up OUR LIVES FOR OUR WIVES. I want to leave husbands with a small example of doing this in my own marriage before I end this post.

I can’t remember how long ago this happened but I came home extremely tired from working ALL DAY so I just wanted to get some rest. My wife had ALSO been working extremely hard all day with the children and keeping the house so she was just as tired as I was. The children, though very happy to see me, was pulling at me from every direction. My wife went to our bedroom to retreat just a bit before dinner but I TOO wanted to retreat and felt she should allow me a break since I had been working outside all day and was literally drained.

When I realized my wife had already retreated, I was not happy about it because I was thinking about how tired I was. My children were asking me questions, asking me to play with them, wanting me to get them things and more. But on top of that there was whining, a lot of noise, constantly needing me to get up and bathroom visits for my smaller two that only I or my wife could take care of. I felt as if I was going to BREAK. So I went to our bedroom and quickly said to my wife, “I need a break”. Without waiting for an answer, I hurried down the hall to our home office and immediately locked the door. I just knew I was about to breath a little bit and get myself together but the next thing I know, my wife was unlocking the door and she said, “Sorry honey but you can’t take a break right now. One of us has to be with the children and it’s not going to be me as I’ve been with them all day and I must have a moment to rest”.

I was REALLY upset. I began to justify why I should be the one to take the break and why she should instead be with the children a little longer. After all, I had been working hard all day outside of the home. So while in the middle of pleading my case to her, the Holy Spirit said very quietly, “Who’s commanded to give up their life for the other? You or your wife?” My lips ceased to move just like that. I could not say another word at that moment. My wife was looking at me wondering what was going on with me as I had cut myself off from pleading my case with instantaneous silence. I then said to her, “I’m sorry Babe. You get your rest and I will take care of them”. She looked puzzled but went to rest anyway.

Now please don’t miss the point of this post. MOST times I really do believe the husband who works outside of the home should be allowed to rest when he gets home from work but that can’t always be. Just because I believe that’s the way it should always be doesn’t mean that it will be because as the scripture says and as the Lord asked me, WHO did God call to die and give up their very life in the marriage? The Wife? No! The HUSBAND is required to give up his life for his wife! We were BOTH tired and beat but we have children to take care of. And it really was not about my wife having been with the children all day but more about was I going to deny myself for my wife to be OK. Was I going to put myself LAST in order for her to be FIRST and then my children? You may ask, “But where did you get strength from”? HA! FROM THE LORD! As I walked back to where our children were, I prayed a very QUICK prayer telling the Lord I needed Him more than ever so I would not lash out in frustration and tiredness towards my children. And did not the Lord do it? YES HE DID! His wisdom also set in where He gave me the idea to turn on a nice family movie, get some snacks and sit in our family room with our children. While they watched the movie, I got a chance to relax in God’s Grace WITH my children and got the break I needed after all.

That is an example of putting my wife BEFORE MYSELF and in the end God was GLORIFIED!!! Husbands I’m not saying it was easy because it wasn’t, but GOD GOT ME THROUGH. God HELPED ME to do my role when I did not want to. Does that mean my wife NEVER goes that extra mile for me at times and say, “I got this Babe; get some rest”? No because she does. But what I am saying is I am COMMANDED to give my life up for my wife not the other way around.

Husbands, God can help us to be the GODLY HUSBANDS He has called us to be because this can NOT be done in our own strength! We are too weak to do this alone. But that’s ok because when we are weak, WE ARE STRONG (2 Cor 12:10)! How? Because we are strong IN CHRIST! Be blessed My Brothers!

Again, please share our post with AS MANY as you can. Thanks everyone!

“Is It A Sin To Kiss”? ~ PAV & OEV

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“Is It a Sin for Singles to Kiss”?

We cannot outright say kissing among singles is a sin because we don’t see it spelled out in the word of God. Many say that kissing leads to sin and that can be true, but that doesn’t mean it is sin. It just means it’s something that can lead to sin like so many other things can lead to sin.

However, is it beneficial for singles to kiss? We believe that if you are in a serious courtship that will lead to marriage you will “probably” kiss, but the problem that CAN happen (not necessarily will happen) is it can light the flames within each other and you can start burning in passion for one another. Kissing is one of the MAIN things that led us to fall into fornication. French Kissing that is. But the reason why we started french kissing is because we first started English Kissing (our own name LOL). You know the kissing without the tongue and that was because we loved and had so much passion for each other. Everybody is not like us. Some of you are stronger than we were and can kiss and not fall like we did. Some couples are virgins; some couples have one that’s a virgin and the other who is not. And some couples like ourselves were not virgins when we met. And that means we should have NOT kissed at ALL.

For the first 13-14 months we did not kiss, hold hands or was even alone together because we had such a heavy attraction to each other. But when we finally decided to date/court, we celebrated with a kiss. The kiss was not a tongue kiss but it was exciting and just the fact that our lips were touching caused all kinds of electricity to go through our bodies. But that made us want to feel that feeling again. In other words, it made us want MORE! And pretty soon, the little kisses lead to more sensual kisses that many call “French Kissing” and then came the thoughts, then the touching, then the heavy petting and then eventually fornication.

But did you notice all the dominoes that happened with us? That is why we believe the word when it says that it is good for a man not to TOUCH a woman. And that touching is not just with hands, it’s with TONGUES too. (Just being real). So in our opinion, we are not at 100% to call it SIN that you have to repent for, but we can definitely say it MAY not be good!

One last thing. WE WISH we could say that we have only kissed each other, but we cannot. And that is another BIG reason not to kiss until your wedding day. Even though God may forget our past when we repent, our minds are not as good as God’s when it comes to forgetting. It has taken us a long time to get to where we are today to where we don’t even remember what it was like to kiss anyone else but each other. So we say to all singles, from our hearts (not based on OUR past), we would tell you to avoid kissing if you can, ESPECIALLY if you do not know you will marry that person. We honestly believe NOW that you should not kiss until you hear, “You May Now Kiss Your Bride”! And when you hear that, make sure your spouse NEVER forgets the Kiss you will give them but instead forgets all other kisses they may have stolen in the past! #BeBlessed

1 Cor 7:1-2, “…It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, TO AVOID FORNICATION, let EVERY MAN HAVE HIS OWN WIFE, and let EVERY WOMAN HAVE HER OWN HUSBAND”.

And we do thank God we are free to kiss each other! 😉 ~ PAV & OEV